Does Forgiveness mean Forgetting? Can I forgive without Forgetting?

Does Forgiveness mean Forgetting? Can I forgive without forgetting?

One day I posted this question to one of the largest socio networks called Face book, hundreds of comments come in, many agreed that any time we forgive, we must forget; acknowledging forgiveness means forgetting. While others said no matter how much you forgive you will still remember, the battle may be the terminology used. As part of being human, memory will still be there. Although we do need to consider anytime someone hurts us or any time we have been offended, we are required to forgive. Jesus Christ taught us when we pray, we should ask the father to “forgive us as we forgive others” no scripture in the bible says “Forgiveness should mean forgetting” we forgive and walk toward the process of forgetting.
When I learn to forgive someone it does not eradicate the action of the person, but I don’t have any rage or hold anything against the person, I release the person by forgiving.

I remember I scenario of a couple who walked in my office for counseling, the wife was crying because she just found out that the husband was cheating on her. The couple needs all the necessary tools to keep their marriage; the husband acknowledged the action and repents toward his wife. The wife accepted to forgive but this does not mean that she forgot the action of the husband. Her forgiveness did not erase the memory of the husband’s action; most of all her forgiveness brought her to accept the husband’s mistake, to move on and to never bring back again. When I forgive it does not necessary mean that I erase the memory, a walk in the way I prove I did completely let go, the hurt or the pain of my partner or neighbors.


Forgiveness comes from your heart and Forgetting from your brain.Where it may be impossible to forget an unfortunate event or situation (sometimes no matter how much we would love to) we can choose to forgive the people involved in the situation. I believe there is much power in forgiveness then in forgetting. If we forgive, we have acknowledged ... Read Morethe pain and chose to “set free” the person. Each time it happens, it makes us a better and stronger person. However if there was a way to just “forget” it… what would we have accomplished?We may not have the power to forget but the ability to forgive is within our reach

The challenge today in this contemporary age is that we forgive someone but we still hold something against them, and any time we see that person we always bring the situation back, never got over it. True forgiveness is not identified by the fact that I don’t remember any more, but it is manifested by the fact that I can have the situation back as a flash light in my memory because I have decided to let go, release and move on, the situation will not take over my life anymore. I forgive what has been done wrong to me; even if the memory comes back I let it go.

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean to forget, because sometimes wrong actions from others will take us to the place where we must restructure our lives, guard ourselves and set some boundaries not to get hurt again. I do not forget what they did toward me, but I decide to let go. Certainly will come to the place when I will not remember any more; while I am in the process of forgiveness, I accept to let go.
You can absolutely forgive without forgetting. It's extremely hard to do so when there is something that constantly reminds you of what was done to hurt you however, forgiving lies in your choice to not hold it against the person that hurt you. You don't use it as a high card for when they hurt you again. Forgiving means you're over it.

- Forgiveness is a decision
- Forgiveness is a process
- Forgiveness is a healer
- Forgiveness is an expression of love
- Forgiveness is an act of joy
- Forgiveness is an act of peace
- Forgiveness is accepting responsibility

Someone sent me a comment asking when I forgive I should forget also, with the scripture of Psalm 103:12! It says: "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us"This scripture always reassures us that God really does forget when we confess our sin with a repenting and sincere heart. And Jesus taught us a prayer and said: Forgive our trespassing as we forgive those who have trespassed against us!When we ask God for forgiveness as in Psalm 103:12, we know that GOD actually FORGETS THEM! Who can measure the distance between East and West? When God forgives, He takes away sin from our lives and throws it so far in oblivion! It is inexistent for Him at that moment as it is for us!But what we don’t realize God can forget because he has the ability to do so, our human being memory is still there, we prove our forgiveness by learning to accept the hurt and releasing a grace mercy toward the person who offended us.

One time I read few quotes: “It is far better to forgive and forget than to hate and remember”AUTHOR UNKNOWN
This quote exemplify our lives as a mirror to others, like Christ when he decides to forgive us, he washes away the trespasses, with his divine ability, he decides to remember no more, part of human challenge is not being God, to have the ability to forget because it has to deal with brain, mind… moreover I choose to forgive and to let go, I also decide to forget without holding anything through a period of time, my heart will recover and will not remember the hurt.
The statement “It is far better to forgive and forget than to hate and remember” can more apply with the perspective of being able to release the hatred from our inner being.

I read HENRY WARD BEECHER who says: "I can forgive, but I cannot forget," it is only another way of saying, "I will not forgive."
If you say you forgive someone, you must be willing to surrender your live to God to help you with the process of forgetting, but a conscious decision of refusal to forget someone wrong doings is another way of saying I will not forgive.
Most of all when I decide to forgive from the deepest of my heart, the Lord will begin a healing process in my life and will help me to forget.
Nevertheless sometimes we may forgive and unconsciously remember what a person did to us, but because we accept to offer forgiveness, we also decide not to let the past memory take over our mind nor our decision.


When I forgive someone, I forget. I hear so many times, people saying I forgive him, but I still remember what he did to me. No, when I forgive I let go, I release and I decide to forget; if I still remember I ask God for strength to let go all past memories.

Sometimes people play the victim for the hurt and find the reason not to forgive, can I suggest to us that forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you. Everybody has got a life, we all need to take responsibility for our actions. Never be the victim of your actions, always take full responsibility of your own actions.